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Chilly Weather Reports
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It was so cold...
we didn't need ice for the party drinks... we just held the glasses outside, and then shook or stirred.
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It was so cold...
my cat sat across the room to look out the window.
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It was so cold...
we replaced the windshield wipers on the car with shovels.
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It was so cold...
the windshield washer fluid came spitting out as hailstones. Instead of a wash - I got a ding!
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It was so cold...
certain celebrities made SURE they had underwear on before they went out.
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It was so cold...
steam from your coffee freeze dried. You could scoop it up, add hot water, and get a second cup.
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It was so cold...
I left Starbucks with a mocha latte and got into my car with a fudgesicle.
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It was so cold...
my heating bill came with the warning "Sit down before opening!"
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It was so cold...
the gas company sent me a letter of condolence along with the bill.
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It was so cold...
Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze!
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It was so cold...
my porch thermometer read "Ouch"!
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It was so cold...
I saw an Amish man buying an electric blanket.
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It was so cold...
Peecicles. Need I say more?
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It was so cold...
our defroster became a re-froster.
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It was so cold...
that even on the milder days, cups of coffee turned into slushies.
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It was so cold...
people with plenty of hair were getting hair weaves - just for the extra warmth.
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It was so cold...
it became stylish to wear two (and sometimes three) wigs or toupees at once.
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It was so cold...
the cemetary had to put out heaters for the ghosts.
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It was so cold...
my one-coat paint required a THIRD COAT!
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It was so cold...
I wasn't sure whether I was wearing clothes - or freezer bags.
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It was so cold...
it made my mother-in-law seem warm.
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It was so cold...
if you sucked on an ice-cube - it just got bigger!
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It was so cold...
the weather report included a "dangerous fog" advisory for frozen breath exhalations.
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It was so cold...
the cash-strapped government introducing an 8 percent Shivering Tax.
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It was so cold...
we had a new event category for the winter festival - frozen snot sculptures.
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