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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    we stopped taking baths. Saturday was our day to get "hoovered"!

  2. It was so cold...
    weathermen were threatening to keep it that way until they got a raise!

  3. It was so cold...
    tea cozies were being used for things that tea cozies should never be used for!

  4. It was so cold...
    lemmings were migrating in search of wolves with warm breath!

  5. It was so cold...
    teddy bears were being thrown out of beds in favor of electrical appliances!

  6. It was so cold...
    that any toaster-oven capable of holding a size 10 foot was worth its weight in gold!

  7. It was so cold...
    when we went outside to play, we could only go as far as the extension cord would allow!

  8. It was so cold...
    people were doing bad things just to go to, well, you know - that fire and brimstone place.

  9. It was so cold...
    kids carrying security blankets were no longer considered strange!

  10. It was so cold...
    I walked to school with the toaster in my pants!

  11. It was so cold...
    the dogs were getting stuck to the fire hydrants! The SPCA was sending out emergency rescue teams to break them free.

    Links to COLD PLACES!

  12. It was so cold...
    we had to salt the hallway!

  13. It was so cold...
    when I turned on the shower - I got hail!

  14. It was so cold...
    we were afraid to spit because, hey, globs of ice can ricochet!

  15. It was so cold...
    the mice were playing hockey in the toilet bowl!

  16. It was so cold...
    fish were jumping up through holes in the ice - straight into the deep fryer!

  17. It was so cold...
    the government of Nunavut introduced legislation to move Iqaluit to the Turks and Caicos Islands.

  18. It was so cold...
    the cosmetics counter was selling cream for goosebumps!

  19. It was so cold...
    we had an ice-fishing shack in the bathtub!

  20. It was so cold...
    Mom used a saw to serve the milk! Another slice, please!

  21. It was so cold...
    we were afraid that Hell WAS actually freezing over!

  22. It was so cold...
    the mercury in the thermometer was just - GONE!

  23. It was so cold...
    I had to jackhammer my Jell-O!

  24. It was so cold...
    hitchhikers were holding up signs to "anywhere above -40°"

  25. It was so cold . . .
    we could only annoy people indoors with these dumb jokes!

It Was So Cold...
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Great Woolly Mammoth Jokes
Icy Knock-Knock Jokes | Icy Jokes
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