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Click here for MORE about MAMMOTHS!
From the Story of the Throps and the Squallhoots...
Imagine a place unchanged since the end of the Great Ice Age. A place where the mighty Woolly Mammoth might still roam!
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Q: Why did the Great Woolly Mammoth cross the road?
A: Because they didn't have chickens in the Ice Age.

Q: What time is it when a Great Woolly Mammoth sits on your igloo?
A: Time to build another igloo.

Q: What is huge, shaggy, has 16 feet and sounds terrible.
A: A Mammoth barbershop quartet.

Q: What's huge and shaggy with tusks and horns?
A: The Woolly Mammoth Marching Band!

Q: What would you give to a Mammoth that is having an anxiety attack?
A: Trunkquilizers!

Q: What is shaggy, has a wand, huge wings, flies at night, and gives money to Woolly Mammoths?
A: The tusk fairy!

Q: What do you call a Squallhoot under a Great Woolly Mammoth?
A: Flat!

Q: Why do Mammoths sometimes walk on two feet?
A: To give Squallhoots a chance.

Q: What happened to the Mammoth that swallowed the Guiding Orb?
A: It roared with de-light!

Q: Why did the Woolly Mammoth swallow the Guiding Orb?
A: It wanted some light refreshment.

Q: What kind of vehicle is big, has shaggy upholstery and a trunk that won't open?
A: A Mammoth-mobile.

Q: What weighs 4 tons and has 16 wheels?
A: A Mammoth on roller skates!

Q: Why do Woolly Mammoths have trunks?
A: Because they'd look pretty silly with glove compartments.

Q: What's another reason Mammoths have trunks?
A: Because they'd also look silly carrying suitcases!

Q: What do Great Woolly Mammoths wear when they go swimming?
A: Their trunks.

Q: Why couldn't the two Great Woolly Mammoths go swimming?
A: Because between the two of them - there was just one pair of trunks!

Q: Why were the Mammoths thrown out of the swimming pool?
A: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!

From our ARCTIC LIBRARY...

1. Great Woolly Mammoth - Preserved for 23,000 years in the frozen wastes of Siberia.

2. Great Woolly Mammoth - Their remains left behind so much ivory that a trade in mammoth tusks began.

Q: What has four legs and a trunk?
A: Wrong! Not a Woolly Mammoth! Two Throps going on a holiday!

Q: What do you do when a Great Woolly Mammoth sneezes?
A: Dive for the snow and DIG IN!

Q: What has 5 legs, 3 ears, 2 trunks and 3 tusks?
A: A Great Woolly Mammoth with spare parts.

Q: How do you know when a Mammoth is under your bed?
A: Your nose gets cold because it's squished against the top of your igloo.

Q: How do you run over a Mammoth?
A: Climb up its tail, run to its head, and slide down its trunk.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Woolly Mammoth and a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over the ice!

Q: What's the difference between a cookie and a Mammoth?
A: Try dunking a Mammoth in your milk - THEN you'll know!

Q: What's the difference between an injured Mammoth and bad weather?
A: One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!

Q: What is the best way to get a wild Woolly Mammoth?
A: Get a tame one - and then really annoy it by telling it Mammoth jokes.

Q: How do you write a report on a Great Woolly Mammoth?
A: First, you get a really big ladder...

Woolly Mammoth Washing Instructions

DO NOT WASH IN HOT WATER

Q: Why do Mammoths wear red toe polish?
A: Sorry, we don't tell Polish jokes on this web site.

Q: What did the Mammoth say when the Squallhoot grabbed its tail?
A: "That's the end of me!"

Q: What do you get when you cross a jaguar with a Woolly Mammoth?
A: A fancy car with shaggy upholstery and a big trunk!

Q: What is HUGE, has tusks, a long woolly coat, and is made of concrete?
A: I don't know.
Q: A Great Woolly Mammoth!
A: What about the concrete?
Q: We just threw that in to make the riddle hard!

Q: What's got a trunk, ivory, and four legs?
A: An old piano in a tree! (Fooled ya! You were gonna say "a Great Woolly Mammoth", weren't you?)

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Mammoth!
Mammoth who?
Mammoth is sthuck 'cause I'th been eatin' peanuth buther!

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