WHEN'S LUNCH? See the LINKS section for more about sled dogs. (NOAA photo)

Q: Why did the hunter name his sled dog Frost?
A: Because Frost bites!

Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: It chases parked snowmobiles!

Q: What did the sled dogs say when their pizza was delivered?
A: "Arctic hare, lemmings... Hey! Didn't we order puffins on this thing?" (And what about the mutts-erella cheese?)

Q: What did the hunter say when the polar bear ate his sled dog?
A: "Well, doggone!"

Q: What do sled dogs say before telling you a joke?
A: "This one will sleigh you!"

Q: Why did the sled dog cross the snow softly?
A: Because it just got hit by a snowmobile and couldn't walk hardly.

Q: What is the difference between Santa Claus and a warm sled dog?
A: Santa wears a whole suit - a dog just pants!

Q: What did the vet say to the musher who brought in a sled dog with caribou steak on its head, seal meat stuffed up its nose, and lemmings stuck in its ears?
A: "Your dog isn't eating right."

Q: Why did the sled dog in the Iditarod race wear little booties?
A: Because its kamiks were being repaired!

Q: What is worse than a sled dog howling at the moon?
A: A whole team of sled dogs howling at the moon!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sled dog and a cheetah?
A: A dog that chases snowmobiles - and catches them!

Q: What do you do if your sled dogs won't run?
A: Get the AHA (Arctic Husky Association) to make an emergency service call.

Q: What do you do when you park your sled in very cold weather?
A: Plug in your dogs.

Q: What is the difference between a sled dog and a mailbox?
A: You don't know? No wonder we're not getting any mail from the Arctic!

Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers on the tundra?
A: A bud hound!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a puffin with a sled dog?
A: A dog that lays pooched eggs!

Q: What time is it when ten sled dogs are chasing a polar bear across the ice?
A: Ten after one.

Q: What does a sled dog that was an Iditarod competitor become after it is ten years old?
A: Eleven years old.

Q: What did the sled dog take when it was run down?
A: The description of the snowmobile that hit it!

LINKS: MORE INFORMATION ABOUT SLED DOGS

Q: How long are a sled dog's legs?
A: All the way down to the snow. (Or maybe... four feet?)

Q: Where are sled dogs trained?
A: In the mush-room!

Q: What is a sled dog's favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!

Q: Why did the sled dog bite the man's ankle?
A: Because it was a short dog and couldn't reach any higher!

Q: Why do sled dogs bury their bones in the ground?
A: Well, doesn't everybody put their leftover food in the refrigerator? (Permafrost is a handy thing, y'know.)

Q: Why do sled dogs bury their bones in the ground?
A: Because they can't put them in the trees!

Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole igloo!

Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs that have come in out of the snow?
A: Slush puppies!

Q: How did the sled dog make antifreeze?
A: It ran off with her blanket!

Q: Where should you leave your dog team and sled?
A: At the barking lot!

Q: How is a sled dog like your nose on a cold day?
A: They both run!

Q: Where do sled dogs go when they've lost their tails?
A: A retail store.

Q: Ten sled dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. Why?
A: It wasn't raining. (There's no drownpour here - the Arctic is a desert.)

Q: What do you call a sled dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call it, it still won't run!

Q: How many legs to sled dogs have?
A: Six. Forelegs at the front and two at the back!

Q: If your sled dog fell through a hole in the ice, what is the first thing it would do?
A: Get wet!

Q: How many hairs are in a sled dog's tail?
A: None. They're all on the outside.

Q: What did the sled dog with a limp say after it finally tracked down and cornered the hunter?
A: "You're the #&%@!#%* that shot my paw!"

Q: Why did the sled dog run in circles?
A: It was the watchdog and needed winding.

Q: How do you make a slow sled dog fast?
A: Don't feed it!

Q: Why aren't sled dogs good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!

Q: What did one sled dog say to the other while leaving the party in the igloo?
A: "That was one of the best parties we've ever been to... and then you had to go and do that on the floor!"

It was so cold... the dogs were wearing fox fur - with the fox still in it! It was so cold... when the dogs wanted exercise, they had to put jumper cables on the Arctic hares - just to get them running! It was so cold... the Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started! Then... It was so cold... when we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place! It was so cold... the dogs were getting stuck to the fire hydrants! It was so cold... when I yelled "hike" to my dog team, they barked back the dog version of "stuff it"! MORE "IT WAS SO COLD" Jokes! (Over 250)

Q: Why is a sled dog like an apple?
A: They're both red, um - except for the sled dog. (Editor's note: How did this stupid joke get in here?)

Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: There's a long pause after "Bow" while it tries to remember "Wow".

Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: It buries its tail and wags its bones!

Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: When you give it that canned food from down south - it just eats the meat-by-products part!

Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: The toupee on its back falls off when it runs.

Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: That little tag on its belly that says "Made by Sony".

Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: There's a medic alert bracelet hanging on its collar.

Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not like you?
A: You catch it gnawing on your snowmobile's brake line.

Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not like you?
A: Whenever you're having a bath, it decides to fetch electric appliances.

Q: What do sled dogs play with to amuse themselves?
A: Their "Sony Sleigh Station".

What we say to sled dogs: "Mush! Hike! Gee! Haw!"
What they hear: "Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!"

First sled dog in heaven: "For fourteen years I survived storms, fights with polar bears and wolves, falls into crevasses, plunges through the ice into the icy ocean..."
Second sled dog in heaven: "How did you get here?"
First sled dog in heaven: "When I was sleeping, my stupid owner ran over me with his snowmobile!"

Patient: "Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a sled dog!"
Doctor: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Even since I was a pup."

Sled Dog Tip: You can't trust your dog to watch your lunch.

Q: Yiiii! There's something coming that's making an awful noise! It's got 22 eyes, 42 feet - and it looks all furry! What is it?
A: Hey, that's just Olayuk and his dog team!

Why is it... that when you blow in your dog's face, it gets mad - but when you take it for a ride in the truck, it sticks its head out the window?

The Final Word: "The more people I meet, the more I like my sled dogs."